【Secret Confessions (2025) Spongkey Episode 44】

On Monday,Secret Confessions (2025) Spongkey Episode 44 the normally sharp and polished Stephen Colbert decided to get dirty and tell a dick joke. Cue the hashtag campaign.

It wasn't just any dick joke, either. Colbert accused President Trump of having a mouth only good for "Vladimir Putin's cock" -- a joke many felt had homophobic overtones. Soon enough, conservatives and alt-right internet denizens began to call for Colbert's head with a #FireColbert hashtag.

Colbert's joke was bad, but the campaign to get him fired? Magically, even more embarrassing.

The comedian's joke was part of a longer rant about Trump's interview with CBS' John Dickerson on Sunday.

“Sir, you attract more skinheads than free Rogaine,” Colbert said. “You have more people marching against you than cancer. You talk like a sign language gorilla that got hit in the head. In fact, the only thing your mouth is good for is being Vladimir Putin’s cock holster.”

Jokes about Trump's potentially sexual attraction to President Putin are nothing new or, sigh, particularly funny. Colbert's reeked of a middle school cafeteria joke: Wasn't it funny that the some famous guy might want some other famous guy's penis in his mouth?

Ha.

To be fair, it seems impossible not to comment on the President's borderline romantic fixation with the dictator, speculated to have great abs. Still, Colbert's joke was seemingly tinged with homophobia and perhaps less noticeably, sexism. The idea that oral sex is shameful for the person providing -- not receiving -- it has a long history in the sexist dick joke canon (Hence the phrase, "Suck my dick").

Colbert's joke was particularly tone deaf, especially when the LGBTQ community is bracing for a historic discriminatory executive order rumored to be signed on Thursday.

The comedian deserved an angry tweet thread and maybe even a simmering hot take. What he did not deserve is a ridiculous hashtag campaign led by alt-righters and conservatives like Laura Ingraham, who voted for a President with a fairly explicit anti-LGBTQ agenda.

We're not offended by Colbert, the #FireColbert hashtag was trended so heavily because it's time to hold everyone to the same standards.

— Jack Murphy (@RealJack) May 3, 2017

Imagine what @StephenAtHome Colbert wd be saying if a comedian did something similar abt Obamas, used a slur in name of comedy.

— Laura Ingraham (@IngrahamAngle) May 2, 2017

#FireColbert I am embarrassed from my country for allowing such an idiot like this to talk like that on TV I am boycotting CBS --fire him

— Marilyn (@lucylouthelab) May 3, 2017

@Fox411 @FoxNews @realDonaldTrump @CBSNews @colbertlateshow It's time CBS! Take a stand! #FireColbert. Filthy, ugly, fouled mouthed man should not be an icon of any TV station. He should apologize.

— Terri (@Terri_Dink) May 3, 2017

#FireColbert
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— Philip Schuyler (@FiveRights) May 3, 2017

Though Trump once called same-sex marriage settled, he nominated a judge with far less clear opinions on the matter. In February, he rescinded an executive order that required that transgender students in public schools be allowed to use the bathroom of their choice. His vice president once supported conversion therapy. His pick for Army Secretary once said that, "transgender is a disease." Trump removed LGBTQ people from the upcoming census and the White House website.

I mean, how much more do you need?

It should go without saying -- but I can't not say it -- that no comedian, conservative or liberal, should lose their job because of one idiot joke. It's especially rich that the alt-right has called for one comedian's removal when they feel like their own speech is in jeopardy.

When a comedian's joke explicitly invites violence, or is part of a larger, systemic harassment campaign, fine. Let them go. But this shit? I have fallen asleep twice while writing about it.

In the meantime, let's tweet thread our rage before it rises to the level of a dumb internet war.

Together, we can build a better, stronger world, full of dick jokes we can all get behind.