【Woman Waiting for Adultery】

Halloween is Woman Waiting for Adulterynot soon, but we always have time to think about Home Depot skeleton. He's tall. He's handsome(?). He's regularly restocked. And most importantly, he was a good friend during dark times — one of the only sources of happiness we had during the fall of 2020.

It's especially important to keep him in your thoughts at this time, because he's not the only skeleton in the subdivision anymore. There's a spooky new boy on the block: the 12-foot Lowe's mummy.

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That's right. Lowe's mummy. He's just as tall, just as imposing, and 100% more animatronic. This towering dude moves, lights up, and "makes terrifying moaning sounds" — his best trait by far.

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After you spend multiple hours assembling his gauze-wrapped body, he'll collapse down for "easy" storage. Or you could just leave him up all year.

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If you've got $348 to spare and you want to make everyone on your street jealous (or scared), you can get your hands on Lowe's Mummy now. Jim next door isn't going to know what hit him.

Opens in a new window Credit: Lowe's Haunted Living 12-Foot Lighted Animatronic Mummy

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