There are Sisterfew things as shameful, in my mind, as pretending to Know Ball and yet Not Knowing Ball.
To be indifferent to Ball is fine enough. To be indifferent to Ball is to be a potential Ball-Knower lain dormant. But to actlike you Know Ball and to not Know Ball? That is a moral failing. Even further, it is a black stain on your character — to thieve at Ball-Knowing is to steal valor from the Ball-Knowers who are right with God. You claim to Know Ball but don't remember Correll Buckhalter? How rich. Describe to me the merits and rise of, if you will, the read option among the pro ranks in the 2010s. Thoughts on Chris Borland?
I am, of course, talking about the 2024 presidential election.
The Trump campaign and other Republicans, in a distasteful fit of Not Knowing Ball, have called into question the football bona fides of Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz, the Democratic Vice President nominee and former high school football coach. Some rightwing Non-Ball-Knowers have posted and pontificated about the merits of Walz's football career because he was a defensive coordinator. They wonder how he can claim to be a football coach if he was an assistant coach.
Here is, for instance, a post about it from an official Trump campaign account. The replies feature many people agreeing.
This Tweet is currently unavailable. It might be loading or has been removed.
I take no pleasure in reporting that all these people do not Know Ball. There is perhaps no more Football Job in the world than defensive coordinator. It is the purest form of Ball. A head coach is basically a CEO figurehead for the team. Fine enough, but it's akin to a celebrity chef who hasn't worked the line in years. An offensive coordinator is all sizzle, no steak. They're all 35, good-looking, and working for their next job — a politician, basically. Special teams coordinators work closely with kickers.
To be a defensive coordinator is to live with honor. It is the American version of being a chivalrous knight. It is not to expect glory but to live with purpose because it is right to live a purpose-driven life. You must admit there will always be points scored, yet you will always fight against that current. Perhaps the only more honorable job is strength coach.
Walz was a defensive coordinator who took a cellar-dwelling team to a state championship. The Republican Party and Trump's campaign are telling voters in the Rust Belt, SEC country, and elsewhere that defense doesn't matter. As if it doesn't win championships? That is a horrific display of Not Knowing Ball. People online let them know it.
This Tweet is currently unavailable. It might be loading or has been removed.
This Tweet is currently unavailable. It might be loading or has been removed.
This Tweet is currently unavailable. It might be loading or has been removed.
This Tweet is currently unavailable. It might be loading or has been removed.
This Tweet is currently unavailable. It might be loading or has been removed.
This Tweet is currently unavailable. It might be loading or has been removed.
Any politics aside, this was a stunning, official display of the Trump campaign Not Knowing Ball. To slander a defensive coordinator is to slander the game itself. To wonder aloud the merits of leading a group of young men to glory in the 4-4 alignment? That is an affront to all this nation holds dear.
Not every American needs to Know Ball. But we must hold sacred the values of those who do and protect against those who wish to muddy the waters with a lack of Ball knowledge.
Topics X/Twitter Politics
Boeing's new VR simulator immerses astronauts in space training
How do you pronounce the weirdest emoticon on the internet? The debate continues to rage
Climate change has greatly impacted the world in 2019
Hire care enjoys the wet sand between its tires after being swept up by tide
Amazon Big Spring Sale 2025: Save $20 on Amazon Echo Show 5
Have a Tesla over
Schools take note: This district will let students skip class to protest
Happy birthday to this dog who had the best possible reaction to her treat
Stop Preordering Video Games
Tesla 'killers' that failed miserably
Best Sony headphones deal: Over $100 off Sony XM5 headphones
The joy of video game music
Influencers get pushback for support of Saudi Arabia PR campaign
Women found Trump's body language towards Angela Merkel so painfully familiar
Anker raises Amazon prices amid US tariffs
EasyJet shifts to gender
'The Rise of Skywalker' failed to care about Finn's story. That's a problem.
Bold tech predictions for 2020
Diseases from mosquitos and ticks have tripled in the U.S., CDC finds
Obama praises book that slams his White House for its Google relationship
Wordle today: Here's the answer, hints for #314 on April 29Bees swarm hot dog stand in Times SquareThe before and after dorm meme makes fun of overWordle today: Here's the answer, hints for #314 on April 29'7 Days' review: Karan Soni and Geraldine Viswanathan in quarantine loveMr. Bubz is about to become your new favorite pet on InstagramSummer TV preview: 11 shows we can't wait to watchTaco Bell menu items, ranked9 of the best Ikea hacks to help transform your home'The Offer' review: An indulgent look at the making of 'The Godfather'Twitter has 3 separate DM inboxes. Find your missing direct messages here.Meghan McCain paid tribute to her dad, John McCain, with Trump dragsFrench beach town bans swimming because of a very horny dolphinApple's Self Service Repair program is now available in the U.S.Someone is trying to stop Johny Johny Yes Papa memesEvery Netflix original movie coming this summerApple rakes in a record $97 billion as workers unionize for fair payThe before and after dorm meme makes fun of overTwitter has 3 separate DM inboxes. Find your missing direct messages here.Trump says he won't rejoin Twitter even after Elon Musk takeover, will stay on Truth Social Meryl Streep’s Globes speech was beautiful, heartfelt and played right into Donald Trump’s hands 'Frankenstein's Monster's Monster, Frankenstein' could be an anthology A powerful group of women will run from NYC to the Women's March on Washington How to get even more money from Equifax after data breach Instagram tests new green screen effect in Stories Circus ties endangered tiger down on a table so people can get selfies Twitter is freaking out about the existence of hairless animals 2 new iPads rumored for release this fall, including 10.2 How to block annoying notifications on Chrome Artists to protest Trump with painting made with human blood Julian Assange ducks the tough questions in video Reddit AMA Marty the grocery store robot is a glimpse into our hell Everything coming to HBO Now in August 2019 Google Pixel 4 uses radar for face unlock and hand gesture detection Channing Tatum gets social with Jenna Dewan's NSFW nap time Yet another uplifting 2016 'Word of the Year' has been announced 'Moulin Rouge!' Broadway review: A glamorous spectacle IRS tells cryptocurrency traders they have to pay taxes The spiciest memes for your hot girl summer Trump's 'infested' tweets violate Twitter's dehumanizing language rule